Category: Blog Entry

They were bringing in the sheaves at Blogstead today. You will of course immediately wonder what that is on the computer screen – some diagrammatic representation of a thrusting diocesan strategic plan, perhaps. Not so. I had just asked my old friend Multimap where I might find Lumphinnans.

You’ll be glad to know that my visit to Lochgelly fulfilled all my best expectations. My soon-to-be-published guide ‘Getting by in Bishopping’ mentions two greetings which strike fear into the heart of the Bishop as he visits a congregation. The first is, ‘We’re doing the usual’ – when you haven’t the faintest idea what the usual is. The second is, ‘We’re not using the readings from the lectionary.’ That’s the one I met today. Fortunately a marginal tweaking of the all-purpose episcopal sermon dealt with that.

They’re a small congregation but great fun to be with. With typical panache, they dealt with the difficult ethical issue of whether it is all right to go straight from the Eucharist into a raffle – what they call in Northern Ireland a ‘wee ballot’. The heating has stopped working and they have to raise money urgently. One of the Rectors with whom I served as a curate resolved this issue in typically gnomic style by saying that it was all right to have a raffle provided that the prize wasn’t anything which anyone would want. No need for such Jesuitical circumlocutions in Lochgelly. They have a beautifully-wrapped prize – but it’s always the same. Sometimes, indeed, the winner doesn’t even open it. It just goes round again and serves its purpose. And the money gets raised.

We ended yesterday at a wonderful concert for Organ and Brass in Dunkeld Cathedral.  But many of the audience will have been unaware that an equally great work of art is just outside – National Cycle Route No 77 goes along the south side of the Cathedral and then along the Tay for several miles.  We did some of it on Saturday morning but stopped short of Inverness.

For some reason, I don’t seem to be keeping up to pace these days in the great blogathon of life. Must do better.

Interesting time last night when Tim was instituted as Rector of Dunfermline and Rosyth. It was a good evening – as always the end of a long story. Full details are available on Max the Dog’s Blog. Dunfermline is growing rapidly, limited only by the capacity of the Forth Bridge to carry commuters into Edinburgh. So it’s a place of wonderful potential in ministry. I almost envied him – but not quite.

There were some classic moments – most of which are not for sharing on a blog. But I did particularly enjoy the moment when I was handed a thurible to cense the altar. It’s never a particularly easy operation for me if I have drifted off into Portadown mode. This thurible was manifestly dead, extinguished and not alight. I turned to Dom who was acting as my Chaplain and asked him what I should do with it. Although he was without his copy of Ceremonial of Bishops at that moment, he still give me his usual discreet advice.

So off tomorrow to Lochgelly which was recorded in 2007 as having the lowest house prices in Britain. This is one of the former mining communities of Fife and it’s struggling to  climb out of a ‘pit’ of social and economic deprivation.  I’m very fond of it because our small congregation there is sustained by a group of wonderful people who have a sort of Belfast-like determination about them. If, as they used to say in Belfast-speak, ‘the windeys was blew out’, they would just put them back in and carry on.

Haven’t done a Thought for the Day for a while – too busy with Lambeth and other stuff. So here is one about Sarah Palin.  We went to Glasgow last night and I became convinced that she was going to blow up and resign before I could get it delivered [ouch!] at 7.20 this morning.

One of the best things about what clergy and bishops do is that we move at all sorts of levels in society.  I know that much of what I deal with can be a bit shambolic.  What interests me is that every other level that I visit is equally shambolic.  Was she vetted?  Well they may have short-circuited the processes a bit.  How well did John McCain know her before naming her as his running mate.  Well they had spoken twice.

I know she is the darling of the Christian right.  But I think she will cost him the election.   Not – by the way – because of the sad story of her daughter or anything like that.  More because of that scary feeling that we may not yet know everything that there is to know.

I sometimes find myself saying that what I miss most about parish ministry is funerals.  Which seems strange.  But I suspect that most of the things which drew many of us into ministry in the first place are to be found there.

So I was interested to have the opportunity of taking part in the Pathways Through Grief Conference which was hosted yesterday and today by NHS Tayside.  It was an impressive event and I said a bit about the role of faith communities.  And you’ll find a bit in there about why I miss funerals.

Always interested in people’s reactions to authority.  When told to evacuate New Orleans, most people comply.  But there are always some who either think they know better or who just don’t do what they are told.  Shades of the Lambeth bed controversy.  For myself, I’d be on the second bus out.  I did have a chance to talk to the Bishop of Louisiana and found, as he said on the Lambeth Video Diary, that the post-Katrina experience had opened him up to all sorts of alliances and partnerships in working together for the whole community.

But of course .. if the Tay rose 500 feet and the call came to evacuate Blogstead [shades this time of the great septic tank controversy] there would be just one significant issue.  Poppy?

It’s a great script.  Like burial of ashes at sea – which I only ever got to do once – but that’s a story for another day.  ‘I accept your nomination … ‘  And I thought of my broadcasting hero, Alistair Cooke.  He was honoured by an invitation to address the United States Congress on its 200th anniversary.  He told his audience he felt as if he was in a dream, standing naked before them and there was only one thing he could find to say.   “I gratefully accept your nomination for President of the United States!”

Meanwhile, the story of the deciphering of Charles Wesley’s diaries catches the attention.  The notion that one would write other than for publication seems extraordinary to a dedicated blogger.  Nevertheless, my literary executors will have to decide what to do with my secret diaries which are hidden behind the third shelf on the left in my study.  Just as a ‘taster’, I offer you the ‘crie de coeur’ of all parish priests: ‘Umvdjggje flbn ubiu fmpfq tuj!’

And finally, I promised our clergy that I would write some Lambeth reflections.  These are more descriptive than evaluative – I hope to do more of the latter very shortly.  They are intended to be a short piece for Magazines and the like and something longer for those who are into that sort of thing.

I’m keeping a distant eye on the Democratic Convention.  The American way of politics is remarkable.  I do notice some similarities to our Canon 4 – tho’ fortunately the speech of affirmation from the candidate’s spouse and guest appearance by the children has not yet been written in by the Canons Committee.

Hard to miss the handing on of the Kennedy flame by Ted [whom today’s Times described as ‘gravelly-voiced and terminally ill’] Kennedy.  Most interesting of all the extent to which Hillary has and Bill Clinton may manage a full-throated, unqualified endorsement of the candidate.  I’ve always been interested in the spiritual challenge of losing – part of my life with the Ulster Protestants and my visits to the white South Africans.  The press have clearly been attuned to the idea that an open-hearted generous-loser affirmation from Hillary would have enormous power – but one which was in any way qualified or which had an eye to the possibility that a Republican win might open up possibilities for 2012 – could be very damaging.

If you haven’t read Obama’s book, I can recommend it.  He’s an FDR fan and he has an academic’s view of the subtle balances of the American constitution which is very instructive.  But it’s the unknown unknowns that he needs to watch.

I enjoyed Lambeth – but it’s great not to have it dominating the landscape as it has done for so long.  I’m ready now to try and write some reflections for our clergy to use with congregations – because there is considerable interest out there.

Meanwhile, I shared in the Dedication Festival yesterday at our congregation in Auchterarder – time to get back into the sermon-writing habit.

Meanwhile, people keep suggesting that I might be interested in the Brompton Bicycle World Championship which is happening at Blenheim Palace at the end of September.  The interesting thing is that, because of the commuting ethos of the Brompton, all racing is conducted in jacket and tie.

Extraordinary how autumnal it feels already – or is it just my age? The combine harvesters are encircling Blogstead and we’re soon going to have to keep Poppy in for her own safety. We’re about to have a series of visitors and we’ll be glad to see them. People come and enter into the soap opera of our lives .. and go away pondering.

Meanwhile, I had a very interesting post-Lambeth meeting with our clergy. I used about half of the Lambeth DVD. I think that many found it both revelatory and reassuring to see bishops from all over the world talking in very measured terms about the issues which face us. Particularly impressive, I thought, was the video of Tom Shaw of Massachusetts and Philip Baji of Tanga, Tanzania. Tom was a member of my Bible Study Group. The film showed their efforts to make links of friendship and understanding across gaps of culture and theology.

Just one more from Humph – this time in Glasgow:

.. and so, as the chill wind of time blows up the kilt of destiny and the short-sighted octopus of fate tries to mount the bagpipes of eternity ..

Poppy’s fans will be glad to know that she is safely home after enjoying pre-and-post Lambeth hospitality in Belfast. She came as a paws passenger again on the Stena to Stranraer – much more hospitable towards her than the P&O which seems a bit iffy.

It’s as well I watch almost no TV since there is almost no TV to watch other than the Olympics – the sporting equivalent of the Lambeth Conference. It’s all very moving to the point of misty-eyed, of course. But as I listen to the victors saying how wonderful it is to have the reward for all the hard work and sacrifice, I wonder about the others. Do they just tiptoe away and get on with their lives? Those who put in great effort in ministry for little visible result can of course say through gritted teeth, ‘One sows and another reaps’

For some reason, I’ve had Humphrey Lyttleton’s sign-off lines from ‘I’m sorry I haven’t a clue’ running through my mind. Is the end nigh, I wonder?

“As the vanquished charwoman of time begins to Shake-n- Vac the shagpile of eternity, I notice that we have just run out of time.”